When you are sorrowful, look again in your heart and you shall see that in truth you are weeping for that which has been your greatest delight.

Kahil Gibran, The Prophet

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The Four Fears of the Holiday Season

The fear of anticipating the pain the season will bring.

Ask yourself what you are feeling, is it sadness? fear? anger?  What might help? This may be sleep, exercise, or talking to someone who is willing to listen.  If you know what will help, make that known to family and friends.

The fear of recognizing your limitations for the holidays.

Decide if you are physically up to the responsibilities of past holidays. Make a list of how you celebrate. Remember you are in control.  Know your limitations. Don’t let guilt influence you.  Remember freedom from guilt is the hallmark of a healthy individual.

The fear of wanting to avoid the season altogether.

This is normal.  It is called the “fight or flight” survival instinct.  Be good to yourself during the holidays.  Sharing your memories is a good way to get through the pain of grief during the season.  A change of scenery may be helpful, but it is recommended that you don’t make this decision lightly.  Take your time to really think it through.

The fear of letting go of traditions.

This is by far the biggest fear the holidays bring!  A wonderful way to cope with this fear is to do for others. Explain to your family and friends that you want to “spend the day helping others.”  It is also a fact that the best way to cheer yourself is to cheer someone else! When a tradition is too painful to revisit, skip it and maybe it won’t be too painful for you next year.  Give yourself permission to lighten your load.  Be patient with yourself.  Remember change and growth go hand in hand.


 In the rising of the sun and in its going down,
We remember them.

 In the blowing of the wind and in the chill of winter,
We remember them.

 In the warmth of the sun and the peace of summer, 
We remember them.

 In the rustling of the leaves the beauty of autumn, 
We remember them.

 In the beginning of the year and when it ends, 
We remember them.

 When we are weary and in need of strength,
We remember them.

 When we are lost and sick at heart,
We remember them.

 When we have joys we yearn to share,,
We remember them.

 So long as we live, they too shall live,
For they are now a part of us, as
We remember them.

The Cord

 We are connected
my child and I
by an invisible Cord
not seen by the eye

 It’s not like the cord
that connects us “till birth”
this cord can’t be seen
by any on Earth

 This cord does its work
right from the start
it binds us together
attached to my heart

 I know that it’s there
though no one can see
the invisible cord
from my child to me

 The strength of this cord
is hard to describe
it can’t be destroyed
it can’t be denied

It’s stronger than any cord
man could create
it withstands the test
can hold any weight

 And though you are gone
though you are not here with me
the cord is still there
but no one can see

 It pulls at my heart
I am bruised, I am sore
but this cord is my lifeline
As never before

 I am thankful that it
connects us this way
parent and child
death can’t take it away

 ~~Author Unknown~~